I can’t be sure this is my heart [Roselin]

[Memorie]

one lives in hope of becoming a memory

@[Roselin] seems down. I could tell by the emotional signature I had picked up in searching for her, but in her presence, that feeling is a lot stronger. So, before anything, I give her a soft, encouraging smile that I hope she can see through the shadows that surround us. I know that the last year had been incredibly difficult for everyone, and that made the encouragement we could give one another all the more important. Not only that, but I hope that the conversation we are about to have will help lift her spirits.

I smile when she asks what my plan is. It is not unlike the encouraging smile I had given her before, but also shows the excitement and thrill that I feel over the prospect of doing something instead of just sitting beneath the redwood canopy, waiting for the sun to filter through once more. “Well,” I say, and then I pause for just a brief second while I put the words together in my head. “I have been studying all of the dead plants here in Taiga. Did you know that plants have emotions?” And since I feel like I could go on and on about the details, I try to condense my explanation as best as possible so as not to confuse her. “Well, their emotions are very basic, unlike our immensely complex emotions. Happiness and sadness. I’ve figured out what plants need in order to grow and survive on their own based on their emotions: how much sunlight they need, the types of soils, climates, etc., as well as how they grow. I pause here for a moment, giving Roselin time to ask any questions is she has them, though my expression also indicates that I am not done.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like maybe there could be more purpose to my life than just waiting around in Taiga for the sun to come back, and I hope that my aunt will feel the same. Without realizing it, I start shifting back and forth on my hooves, shifting my weight as if dancing in excitement. Well, I guess it’s not really “as if,” so much as that’s exactly what’s happening. I smile brightly at her. “So what I was thinking is that I could look for their signature. You sent me a memory, and even though it’s not the best quality memory, I could still tell a lot from it. I’m hoping that’s enough that I can search for their signature in lands similar to that where you mum came from. Even if they aren’t growing now, I can still study dead plants.” My hope is that the sunflowers will have grown recently enough that they haven’t decayed yet, but I am not going to voice that to her. The last thing she needed right now was a reason to feel even more useless than she already does.

Image by Calcifer