She had been trying. Trying to get past her bitter resentment of Jah-Lilah raising her lost son. Trying to forge a relationship with her wary child while treading lightly around the remnants of the one she had once had with his father. In that new land, Eternal. And then the world broke. And the portal that she had willingly gone through before seemed to form and snatch her up without asking. Instinctively. There was no time to find any of them, no time to reach for them. In a matter of seconds, it’s twirling blue force pulled her in and before she could even cry out… She was gone. That world was gone.
Hurtling through starlight, she doesn’t know how long she travels. She never does. Time plays by it’s own rules here and of them there are none. In her memory, it seems to happen in minutes but the reality is much more confusing and chaotic then that. It’s been years since she once called Hyaline home. Years since she had been spit up on the edge of the lake and Amet had found her, bleeding and sick. Where she had found love and family and all the things she never thought she had actually wanted. Of all the planes of existence, all the other worlds that spun in the universe, whoever played with her strings of fate decided to bring her back to this moment in time. This spot of Beqanna. Hyaline.
With a sharp crack that throws ripples over the water, she’s thrown head over heels into the muddy bank, flailing and kicking and angry that she still hadn’t mastered the art of a graceful exit. With another ear splitting crack, the portal vanishes. And it’s just her and the sound of her own heavy breathing. She doesn’t realize at first where she is because it’s so damn dark. Instinctively she tries to pull from above, to shield herself in starlight and give herself a makeshift flashlight. It doesn’t come. Confused, she rises off bruised knees and tries again. Nothing. There’s a tinny whistle in her ears, a slow whine of dread as she tries again, and again, and again. No stars come to her rescue. Her swirling silver iris’s lift to the sky and she sees the problem immediately. It’s like the clouds have turned to sludge and not a single ounce of starlight can break through. Some weird sliver of light plays off in the distant horizon but it’s not enough. It’s not her beloved friends, her ancestors and siblings, the part of her that is star-fallen. They are obscured to her, hidden. She cannot reach them. It’s been a long time since she’s felt true fear but it crawls up her spine now, chilling her bones and reaching the hardness that sets in her gaze.
She’s known darkness like this before, somewhat similar to when she had been in the Upside Down. But even that doesn’t compare to this. It’s too dark. Smothering and choking. Trying to calm herself, taking slow long drags of air into her lungs and trying to make sense of where she was. There’s a scent here that’s familiar to her, like an old song you just can’t remember the name of. It tickles at the back of her head but she still can’t place it. Taking a few careful steps across the sand and hesitating when water pools around her front hooves. It doesn’t smell salty like the sea. It’s a different fragrance, one with notes of murkiness and decaying organic matter. One of rocks that shine when water laps around their edges. One of cattails and tadpoles. She knows that scent. She knows it well.
She is quiet and still at the lakes edge as the realization of where she is hits her. Her home, a home no longer. There is a pain lodged deep in her chest. Being here again. Alone. They should be here too. The silver swirls are sluggish in her eyes as they search for even a hint of her reflection in the dark water, trying to at least find the familiarity of her own scarred face. Finding nothing. No reflection. No family. No love. No stars. Only that deep thick pain that seems to settle and spread within her.
all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was