"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
Gale this is going to break me clean in two -- this is going to bring me close to you
She’s quiet after her soft whisper of surprise, but Gale knows what it looks like when someone is thinking, and he is content to give her time. He does not look away though, and instead continues to inspect her dark form until he is certain he has it memorized. Just as he does, she begins to speak again, and Gale’s softly furred ears turn entirely toward her. Her words started off softly, and he is determined to not miss them.
He really only hears the first half, when she tells him that she’d have stayed if he’d asked. He’s reminded, again, just how close he’d been to happiness. He’s no longer sure that had been the right choice, but he’s not sure enough to apologize yet.
She is no longer willing to do so, and reminds himself that time has passed, and it is only normal for things to change. His feelings have not - despite his best efforts - but Mazikeen’s life is different than it had once been. Different, but apparently not so different that she dismisses both of the options he’d suggested.
Yes, he nods, affirming her understanding of what he asks. Well, that’s not entirely true, so he speaks up lest he unintentionally mislead her.
“Well, I’d rather you come to Islandres.” She’d said she can’t leave Hyaline, so he supposes that she’d not been permanently ejected from that Pack for her temporary lack of shifting. Gale knows little of the hierarchy of the creatures that live in the mountains; cultural phenomena have never been one of his many interests.
“But if I have to stay here, I suppose I can adjust to your tiny little ocean.” He gestures at the distant lake with his whiskered nose, a smile at the edge of his mouth as if he is speaks of an enormous sacrifice. It’s freshwater, he knows, and probably far colder than the turquoise seas of Islandres. He is doubtful that Hyaline will measure up to Islandres in terms of creature comforts, but he is not here for comfort. He is here to make sure that someone is watching him, that someone will know when to stop him.
He is also here because he is tired of Seeing Mazikeen rather than seeing her, and because even frowning and frustrated at him as she currently is, there is no longer a cold cavity in his chest when he thinks of her. Instead there is a brightness he's not felt since the last time he'd seen her.
It’s an effort to reign in her thoughts, to stop letting that swelling hope get the better of her. To distract her. There’s anger too, of course, simmering in the pit of her stomach - ready to fill in the gaps when all her other thoughts cease.
For now, though, Gale’s comment about the lake inspires a small smile and it’s all too easy for her to quip back. “You’ll just need to watch out for Sabal, she lives in the lake and is known to bite. I think she’ll share if you give her something shiny, though.” In contrast to her words, the lightness of her tone makes it clear she’s got nothing but fondness for the kelpie.
She wonders if they’ll get along.
Is this really going to happen?
There is an absurd feeling to apologize for needing to stay here - Mazikeen ignores it in favour of explaining why, growing serious again. “I wouldn’t mind going to Islandres, it’s just that… Breach died.” Her voice cracks on that last word, and the pain that ripples through her is strong enough that she’s not (in this moment) embarrassed by the sadness as it takes over. She feels this form droop, right from the tip of her black ears. Saying the fate of her friend out loud has never gotten any easier and she can feel that sun that had been burning in her chest collapse in on hollow space formed by the absence of Breach. The true alpha of Hyaline. Her eyes drift upwards as she continues, looking away from Gale’s tree in favour of the emptiness of where the sky should be as her strained voice continues. “I told her I’d look after the pack and I just… I can’t leave them right now.”
Mazikeen isn’t sure whether anyone living in Hyaline really needs her, but she thinks she needs them. She needs the pieces of the family she’s made here and she still hopes she can keep both of the promises she’s made.
She shakes her head to clear it, forcing herself to think about something else - flat out refusing to cry in front of him again. The confusing twist of emotions Gale inspires is practically a relief compared to the emptiness of grief. After a deep inhale (that does absolutely nothing to calm her) she lowers her gaze back to the ocelot and attempts a half-hearted joke - pulling on some of the words he'd said to her when they last saw each other. “I know you’re cursed and I should probably just do whatever it is that’ll make that easier for you but… why start now? After all, I am the most frustrating creature you’ve ever met, right?”
Gale this is going to break me clean in two -- this is going to bring me close to you
Someone bitey lives in the lake, someone who can be pacified with gifts. Gale is not entirely sure how serious Mazikeen is, but he decides that he’ll have to find this Sabal someday, and see how much of the warning is true. He is just wondering who else might live here, when the black margay speaks again.
Breach is dead, Mazikeen tells him.
Gale’s navy mouth pulls into a thin line, and then a frown, and he contemplates what she has said. He’d not known the woman especially well, but it seems it had been well enough to mourn her passing. He had admired the young Alpha, and often thought of what she had admitted to him in the shade of wooden figures.
He’d always thought of them as rather alike, Breach and Mazikeen, and he had not been surprised to learn they were close friends. The black cat’s sadness is heavy in the dark air between them, and Gale shifts his weight on his piney perch much as he wavers internally with indecision.
In the end, he does what feels the best, because there’s never really enough time to think through the endless possibilities. Leaping gracefully onto her branch, Gale tries to hug her as best as he can manage in this feline shape. Her small size elicits a sense of protectiveness that she wouldn’t appreciate, and Gale is amused at the thought of telling her.
He succeeds in not smiling, but doesn’t take his shape into account, and the contentment emerges as a low purr. At her half-hearted joke though, the laugh finally escapes, a low chuckle that rumbles just as deep in his throat.
“Of course you are.” He tells her, drawing away to stretch languorously on the branch, ending in a flick of his long tail. “That is part of why I find you so fascinating.”
There is something freeing in being bold and honest, and for the first time Gale thinks that perhaps not all aspects of the Curse are terrible.
Mazikeen tenses when Gale jumps, feeling both an annoying sense of worry for his safety and trepidation about him coming closer. And then he’s on her branch and hugging her before her mind can even spit out a coherent thought.
The hug doesn’t fully chase away her sadness and yet her annoyance at being so much smaller than him doesn’t temper the warmth she finds in the contact. The comfort. The way his laughter brings out a smile so effortlessly as it rumbles against her black fur (even if the purring makes her consider shifting into a porcupine).
She missed hearing that laugh.
Her ears flick when he speaks and she watches as he stretches on the branch. Mazikeen is cycling between the thrill of having him close (and apparently content to stay there) and thinking she’s beyond stupid for the way her heart still races when she looks at him. Even when he calls her fascinating, because she’s not entirely sure if that’s a compliment or not.
She doesn’t like when he compliments her. If this follows the theme of his last visit - now is when things are going to start to fall apart.
“Gale…” But whatever she was going to say evaporates from her mind because light catches her attention. It is so alien to her now that Mazikeen’s first thought is danger and then all other thoughts cease. Driven purely by instinct she moves from her spot quickly, shifting into a large white owl and flaring her wings in an effort to shield Gale with her back to whatever is coming for them.
In the same moment, her owl’s head turns around to peer through the branches though she’s forced to close her eyes because the initial flash is so bright even through the needles. When she opens them again, she sees spots and then a world in colour.
“Is that the sun?” A quiet, foolish question but her mind hasn’t quite caught up to the present moment again. She hasn’t even lowered her wings.
Gale this is going to break me clean in two -- this is going to bring me close to you
He closes his eyes in a yawn, and is pleased to find that Mazikeen is still there when he reopens them. She’s still smiling too, and it feels almost like the last year hadn’t really happened at all.
She says his name, and it sounds wonderful, and then a great many things happen at once. His wide-pupils shrink in the growing light, Mazikeen grows wings and puts herself between him and the sky, and his field of vision shrinks to a flat screen of feathers. They brush against his long whiskers, soft and solid all at once, and he almost forgets about the return of the light until she says something.
“Looks like feathers to me,” He replies, knowing that his voice will be muffled. Then he pulls away, just enough so that he can use the edge of his jaw to nudge her flared wing out of the way so he can look at the sky unobstructed.
“The moon is still up there,” he says, “Just past the edge of the sun.” Something else had happened too, he thinks, and he looks up to see the dark familiar shape of Erne against the sky. It is so bright that he frowns, but he wants to know more, so he leaps out of the tree.
He’s an osprey long before he hits the ground, and Gale rides the warm summer breezes higher and higher over the glittering lake. The world seems to be glowing brighter and brighter, and Gale’s blue eyes narrow. When he feels the air begin to grow cold, he knows he is nearing his physical limit, and slows with an irritable osprey’s shrill.
“What was that?” He says aloud, mostly to himself and to Mazikeen if she’s followed his reckless flight. The phenomena was surely magical. But whose magic? And why? The questions are enormous, and the sunlight seems to have burned away the shadows around his thoughts, leaving him insatiably curious.
He feels something oddly warm, and he shivers, losing a few feet in altitude as he does. The sensation is not painful, but it is foreign and unexpected. It fades as quickly as it had come, and he does not notice the way his cremello markings and scars have begun to glow with the light emitted by the sun.
Embarrassment seeps in and she folds her wings quickly when he nudges one aside with his jaw to look past her. Good job Mazikeen, you just tried to protect someone from dangerous sunlight!
Thankfully, he doesn’t comment further and she doesn’t give herself much time to sit on those thoughts. How can she when there's sunlight waiting? Mazikeen is quick behind Gale after he leaps out of the tree - she trades the owl for a white osprey and loses herself completely to the joy of this moment. Her rise up is not as reckless as his as she takes in the sunlit view of her home below but she arrives to coast on the air nearby in time to hear his question.
She doesn’t have an answer to it and she doesn’t think it matters at all.
Something that isn’t the wind seems to skitter over her back around the same time when Gale drops down a few feet. She’s frowning, wondering if there are pine needles stuck in her feathers again, when she catches sight of the other osprey and a bright laugh escapes her. “Why, Gale, you’re positively glowing.” The last syllable is only just out before she turns and dives down towards the sparkling lake. Mazikeen races across its surface, extending a black talon to graze the shining water as if she could capture the sunlight and hold it to her.
She lets this happiness fill her up, pretending it can burn away that storm of darker thoughts waiting on the fringes of her mind. Pretending her fears and worries aren't racing behind her like a shadow.
She weaves across the waves before hitting the far shore, shifting back into her horse-self and taking a few fast strides to slow herself down and stop. Her heart is hammering wildly in her chest and there’s an exhilarated smile lighting up her orange eyes when she turns her horned head around to look for Gale.
Gale this is going to break me clean in two -- this is going to bring me close to you
Her cheerful laugh surprises him, and Gale turns in the air just in time to hear her tell him he’s glowing. He doesn’t take the time to inspect himself for what she’s referring to, because she’s turned to dive and his still-racing heart is eager to follow. The sunshine is warm on his pale wings, but the air is cold and crisp against his face as he plummets toward the lake.
He pulls up at the last moment, the adrenaline emerging as a joyful laugh, and he is only a few paces behind Mazikeen as she lands on the shore of the lake.
She looks almost unreal, and Gale reaches out rather than stop when she does, reassuring himself that she is real with touch. Even though he’d just hugged her as an ocelot, he still feels bold in reaching out to touch her, to run his muzzle along her ribs, then her shoulder.
This time it’s the sun that has made him bold, the brightness burning away his uncertainty. He’s only himself now, and he’s not thinking of the Curse at all. He’s not thinking of anything but Mazikeen, and he marvels at the way her scars feel against his skin. Some of them are new, and he glances up to ask her about them when he notices her horns for the first time.
“Those are new,” He says, and he is careful to keep his words neutral. They are impressive as well, wickedly sharp and pointed. A crown for the Alpha of Hyaline, he thinks, and he nods in quiet appreciation after his long appraisal. “I like them. They suit you.”
Rolling his shoulders, Gale adjusts the white wings that he had not lost upon his shift. He wears them more more often than not in this form, a constant use of his shapeshifting ability that he likes to think keeps him ever ready for other changes. He is thirsty, and the sun is warm, so he glances down at the lake curiously.
“Will your fish friend allow me a drink, do you think?” The brindle stallion asks, trying and very nearly succeeding at keeping a straight face. His mouth is rather dry after their flight and dive, and he’s all but choking on his own daring. It so easy to do things in the moment, but he is eager for a drink to distract him from looking at Mazikeen and over analyzing what she might say.
He’d told her once that he forgets everything when she is near, and that remains true. Looking at the water, as if something might emerge, is a temporary distraction only.
04-09-2021, 08:02 PM (This post was last modified: 04-09-2021, 08:03 PM by Mazikeen.)
Mazikeen
Mazikeen’s bright, exhilerated expression turns into one of surprise when Gale boldly reaches out to touch her upon joining her on the shore. Her skin twitches under his touch, something she wished she could control, but she’s as unable to stop that as she is to stop her heart from it’s frantic reaction. Since she cannot control either of those things, she holds her breath instead so she will not sigh. He’s not pushing her away, not offering comfort, just… touching her, her scars.
She knows the emotion that is suffocating her in this moment is fear and that is what keeps her rooted where she is instead of doing the logical thing and moving away. She’s afraid of how much she enjoys this closeness, afraid of how fleeting it might prove to be, afraid it means nothing to him and so much to her.
During the eclipse she had faced her fear of the forest, of what she was without her shifting. She’s determined not to let these fears sway her actions even though, in this, she still feels like she’s moving around in the dark.
She’s a little lightheaded when his touch stops, though she tells herself that’s because she held her breath, and her head is just starting to function properly again so she only manages a smile in response to his comments about her horns.
But that smile brightens, solidifies, when Gale asks about her fish friend. She took every opportunity she had to refer to Sabal as something other than kelpie, very nearly running out of sea creatures (squid being her particular favourite, since Sabal seems to dislike it so much). She tilts her head a little to the side and nods, her response coming with an ease she only partially feels. “Go ahead, I’ll protect you.”
She realizes now that she’s never seen him in the daylight. Their fight on the plains had been at a snowy dusk and then the sun had just gone away by the time she had hunted him down in Islandres that first time. She knew he was easy on the eyes but seeing the sunlight dance across the iridescence of his deep blue coat, how it contrasts with the pale cream markings and his white hair and wings, is entirely different than seeing him illuminated by her fire aura or through the shadows. A beautiful package to the impressive strength she knows exists in that body.
Mazikeen stays quiet for a moment, giving him a chance to drink (and actually keeping an eye out for any signs of a nosy kelpie) before she speaks. She’s not actually sure which thought is going to come out of her first until it’s there on her tongue. “I've missed you too.”
Gale this is going to break me clean in two -- this is going to bring me close to you
The lake is to their left, and the whole valley slopes gently toward it, giving him easy footing as he makes his way toward the shore. The ground here feels different than in Ischia; there is no black sand beneath the summer grasses, and Gale suspects that this grass will always be green, and never change mid-mouthful to tangerine or lavender.
The water is cool, though Gale finds. Once the summer sun has been at it for a while, the shallows will probably be comfortable enough to swim. The water tastes clear when he bends down to taste it, sort of like rocks but not even a bit salty, and he hums happily between sips.
He takes a few more sips than he really needs, then pauses to brush away a bit of dried blood along his leg. Probably scraped in the landing, he thinks idly, and doesn’t notice that the small scratch has healed entirely, far faster than his regeneration usually works. He’s avoiding looking back at Mazikeen for as long as possible.
He’ll start talking when he does. He'll have to tell her the truth when he does.
I’ve missed you too, she says, and Gale finally looks up to meet her gaze. He had hoped she would miss him, but it had only ever been in a small part of himself, because mostly he had wanted her to be entirely happy. In the end, it had been difficult to be hopeful for anything in the darkness, and Gale cannot help but feel that Fate has intervened to bring light back to more than just his eyes.
“Now you don’t have to.” He says, the words feeling right as soon as he says them. He’d rather stay in Islandres, but there are some things worth compromising for. Having already mangled most of his emotional confessions to the orange-eyed mare, Gale is not especially eager to continue the trend.
There is something else he needs to say as well, something he needs to say first, so she knows what is coming. He’d spared her from the details before, but now he forces himself to be entirely honest, to elaborate on what he knows about the Curse, complete with the story of his father’s descent into madness, his sister’s bargain with the Dark God, his mother’s deal with dragons, and the wildfire that had killed both Lepis and Wolfbane.
It’s not a comfortable story to tell, especially not when it lays out the spiraling path of lying, thieving, attacking, and eventually killing that awaits him. He’ll be tolerable for a while, and he’ll lie to carry the facade longer still. But eventually, something will break, some lie he told will come unraveled, some pair of eyes will see what they should not, and he’ll be revealed. Then he’ll run, and the sooner he’s caught the sooner he’ll stop tearing apart everything that displeases him.
He tells her that someday he will lie to her, that he won’t be himself anymore, that he’ll be something - or maybe someone? - different. Worse, Cruel, Someone that would hurt even the ones he cared about, would even hurt her.
“I was going to ask the Fairies to take away my healing,” he admits, “But with the Afterlife gone away...It feels so final and I... I don’t think I’m ready to die yet.” There are things he wants to do before he dies, things he’d not really thought about before he’d been forced to confront his impending death.
Gale is thinking of them as he looks at Mazikeen, and he looks away, and reaches for another sip of water and decides to trust his gut instinct to be honest rather than his logic when he admits without looking up:
“I also think I might love you, which does make the thought of dying less appealing, especially if it’s the permanent kind of death.” He nods in emphasis at his own statement, as if this is a normal sort of consideration in this situation, and only then does he finally meet her gaze.
Mazikeen stays still and quiet as Gale shares the story of the curse. Finally. It’s a little harder to be mad at him for their last few encounters as she hears the whole story, as she learns what his parents had gone through and what is waiting for him in the future. Just a little though - she still doesn’t think he handled it particularly well, and the hurt still lingers but she… she thinks she gets it. Why he wanted to try to delay the arrival of the curse for as long as he could.
It is not a nice story to hear, not pleasant to imagine the kind stallion standing before her capable of such atrocities. That had been what inspired her to make her promise in the first place, back when they barely knew each other. Now she knows it was absolutely a stupid promise to make without knowing anything. She’s more afraid for him, though, than she is about what effects she might face. They may need to come up with a different plan soon, she thinks, to spare the other residents of Hyaline the worst of the time bomb she’s invited to live with them. Maybe there’s an empty land they could live in where she would be his only target until it was finally time to act.
But she keeps these thoughts and vague plans to herself, worried he might use them as an excuse to push her away again.
And she doesn’t tell him she’s already been expecting to be hurt every time he opens his mouth. Even now beneath the sun, feeling lighter than she has in a long time and filled to bursting with hope, she’s waiting for it.
So when he says he thinks he might love her, she is stunned. If he had sounded more sure, maybe she would trust it less. She shouldn’t even trust it now, she tries to reason with herself, but the part of her that is trying to scream this gets drowned out by the undeniable warmth and happiness that spreads through her.
Mazikeen knows immediately that she loves him back. It’s something she’s been in vehement denial about for a while now, not even letting that word ghost through her mind. Shying away from the thoughts that even came close. Loving him was going to do her no good. But it was too late for that. She’d tied herself to him with her promise and it wasn’t going to get any easier if she pretended not to care.
Her orange eyes haven’t budged from him, and finally she’s able to find her voice. “Well I’m so glad thinking you love me doesn’t make death appealing.” But this jab is soft, a shine of laughter filtering through her eyes before she continues. “I’ve been trying so hard to hate you again. The way I did after our fight.” She smiles a little, thinking about it now. “Although you did your best to help me with that I… I…” Just when she’s made up her mind to say it her throat seems to thicken and she swallows. “Shit. Gale, this better not be some kind of joke because I know I love you.” And it scares the hell out of her - though she doesn’t want to admit that part. Doesn’t want him to see the weakness there even though she (stupidly) isn’t even really afraid of the curse but of how big the feeling inside her is. How much she wants the dream of together with him, however short it might be. She cannot bring herself to share all of her because she cannot fathom how much it will hurt when everything she is doesn’t measure up.
Mazikeen takes a few steps towards him but hesitates before drawing too close, before touching him, though it’s all she wants to do. Instead she just speaks again, a few more quiet words though her voice is certain and strong as a cautious smile lights up her eyes. “I’m in this with you. Right to the end.”
