05-17-2021, 06:38 PM
Mazikeen
She’s eager for whatever advice she can get so she listens intently when Yanhua replies - though the mention that she’ll disappoint them isn’t exactly encouraging. He goes on to share a story - which does make her feel a little better, to know not everyone else on the planet had been born a perfect parent like she was starting to assume.
Privately as well, Mazikeen cannot fathom being in a relationship with more than one other - Gale already consumed most of her thoughts there was rarely room for anything else (proving, she thinks, just how poor of a leader she is for Hyaline). Love was new to her, she didn’t yet understand all the different forms it could take. Doesn’t even realize how many there are already in her heart in various ways.
And then Yanhua continues and his easy encouragement blindsides her.
It rattles Mazikeen to have lived nearly seven years and just now be finding out there’s this much kindness in the world. Gale is kind, yes, but she had thought him a fluke. She hadn’t expected it to echo throughout his entire family. She admired all the mares who had raised and lived with her, burning bright in their intensity and ferocity and inspiring her with their strength. And from them she had known some kindness, of course, had discovered support when she hadn't expected it but the encouragement she’s used to is often accompanied by phrases like ‘why are you being such a fucking idiot, Maze?’ And here Yanhua’s few words strike at her core. At almost every single insecurity, the ones that had driven her up the Mountain seeking a stronger form of shapeshifting, and the ones that have haunted her ever since.
She returns the bump easily, wondering if this is what it would've been like to grow up with siblings. Her eyes are bright and her voice uncharacteristically quiet as she repeats the phrase she had said moments ago, but with a little more sincerity this time. “Thank you, Yanhua. That means... that means a lot. And I'm glad you didn't give up. I hope that means things worked out?” She won't mind if he doesn't want to explain any further, her head is still buzzing a little bit anyway. She wonders if it’s stupid how much it means to her, if she shouldn’t be so affected by kindness. But it means a lot, even if it doesn’t change anything. Even if she wakes up tomorrow and chokes on her fear that everything she hopes for is impossible. She’s going to try to remember these words.
Mazikeen isn’t really too sure where to go with the conversation from there - and she's quiet for a moment before she shifts the topic back to something that doesn't make her feel like the ground is sliding out beneath her hooves. “Are these new?” She gestures with her red-marked nose to the dancing insects, hoping he won't mind the redirection.
Privately as well, Mazikeen cannot fathom being in a relationship with more than one other - Gale already consumed most of her thoughts there was rarely room for anything else (proving, she thinks, just how poor of a leader she is for Hyaline). Love was new to her, she didn’t yet understand all the different forms it could take. Doesn’t even realize how many there are already in her heart in various ways.
And then Yanhua continues and his easy encouragement blindsides her.
It rattles Mazikeen to have lived nearly seven years and just now be finding out there’s this much kindness in the world. Gale is kind, yes, but she had thought him a fluke. She hadn’t expected it to echo throughout his entire family. She admired all the mares who had raised and lived with her, burning bright in their intensity and ferocity and inspiring her with their strength. And from them she had known some kindness, of course, had discovered support when she hadn't expected it but the encouragement she’s used to is often accompanied by phrases like ‘why are you being such a fucking idiot, Maze?’ And here Yanhua’s few words strike at her core. At almost every single insecurity, the ones that had driven her up the Mountain seeking a stronger form of shapeshifting, and the ones that have haunted her ever since.
She returns the bump easily, wondering if this is what it would've been like to grow up with siblings. Her eyes are bright and her voice uncharacteristically quiet as she repeats the phrase she had said moments ago, but with a little more sincerity this time. “Thank you, Yanhua. That means... that means a lot. And I'm glad you didn't give up. I hope that means things worked out?” She won't mind if he doesn't want to explain any further, her head is still buzzing a little bit anyway. She wonders if it’s stupid how much it means to her, if she shouldn’t be so affected by kindness. But it means a lot, even if it doesn’t change anything. Even if she wakes up tomorrow and chokes on her fear that everything she hopes for is impossible. She’s going to try to remember these words.
Mazikeen isn’t really too sure where to go with the conversation from there - and she's quiet for a moment before she shifts the topic back to something that doesn't make her feel like the ground is sliding out beneath her hooves. “Are these new?” She gestures with her red-marked nose to the dancing insects, hoping he won't mind the redirection.
@[Yanhua]