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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [private]  I'm feeling this deep, aching sense of dread
    #1
    mazikeen
    Mazikeen goes to the lake first but she soon finds Sabal’s trail leading away from it and towards one of the mountain passes. She hesitates only for a moment before shifting into a wolf to better follow it, the furr along her spine upright and rigid as she thinks of the Curse’s promise to be watching. She doesn’t look around to see if she can spot him, doesn’t know if he had meant that or just said it so she would keep him in the back of her mind.

    As if she needed help with that.

    She does her best to focus on this one single task, catching up with Sabal. One thing at a time. None of her usual storming thoughts, none of her million emotions pulling her apart. She shoves it all away and succeeds for those few moments where she is alone. Where it is nothing but her paws on the rocky Hyaline soil and her nose searching the ground.

    Her steps falter when she sees Sabal ahead and that new heart of hers skips a few beats. She wishes it had taken longer to find her friend. This needs to be done, and the sooner the better, but that hardly makes it any easier.

    “Sabal!” Mazikeen calls out and winces at how harsh her voice is, how strangled it sounds. She tries to make up for it as she approaches, shifting back into herself with a sad smile in those bright orange eyes. The bloody mask has been washed off but the scars around her eyes remain - crisscrossed patterns from where they had been eaten and the fresher, healed wounds from where Mazikeen had freed this new set from the scar tissue.

    To make up for the rough start, her next words are a little too casual. “Heading to the border? Want some company?” She asks, as though this is just any other day where she is looking for an excuse to stretch her legs. As though nothing is terribly amiss in their home, and as though it’s not entirely Mazikeen’s own fault.



    @[Sabal]

    [Image: giphy.gif]
    #2

    can’t stop staring at those ocean eyes. 



    The water was still this morning.
    Hyaline was quiet.
    That, in itself, was disconcerting.

    She didn’t feel fantastic about leaving Chasm here, but she didn’t like the idea of taking him clear across Beqanna when things were still so uncertain. Hyaline’s lake had always offered her some degree of protection, so she was counting on that and the entities to keep him safe until she could return.  Thankfully, he hadn’t put up a fuss about her request – having seen the seriousness in his mother’s eyes.  Whatever demons haunted his mother were reflected in those eyes, and the mere reflection was enough to keep him from asking questions for the time being.

    So she’d made her way to the shore, shedding her kelpie skin but keeping her teeth, and stepping out into the sun. As badly as she wanted to make the entire journey by sea, she knew it would be faster to make the first half of the trip by land. And now that Mazikeen had recovered enough for her to go, she knew time was of the essence. She wanted to make it to Tephra and back before her presence was missed so she could bring her friend the news she needed to soothe her troubled mind while her body recovered.

    The kelpie let out a soft sigh. She was still plagued with guilt over all that had happened, and worried about what had yet come to pass. However, she would see this done.

    All of it.

    The lake had finally fallen out of sight and the border loomed ahead when she heard a familiar voice.  The kelpie whirled to find Maze, looking considerably less on the brink of death than she has in weeks.  The thought of her recovering lifted her spirits, but at the same time the horrific scars caused her heart to lurch in her chest. But seeing Maze’s burning eyes – a sight she thought she’d only ever see in her memories – seemed to breath life into her weary bones.

    “Who’s company? Yours?” Sabal said, with a smirk, too overwhelmed by the sight of her healing friend to notice that something was, like, really off. ”I guess,” she added, with a very Sabal wink. But her expression grew more serious as she moved closer to her friend. “You’re looking better, Maze. Stronger. Hopefully when I bring you back good news that will help your recovery even more,” She added, hopefully – trying to instill some assurance in her friend as she confidently and completely…misread the whole ass situation.


    s a b a l .
    manip by squirt





    @[Mazikeen]
    #3
    mazikeen
    She’s greeted with a smirk and a joke, neither of which she deserves and both of which are so perfectly Sabal that the reason for approaching her friend is an icy grip on her new heart. It is too much -  all the thoughts that rise up in her mind. Theoretically she had thought this would be for the best, theoretically she even thought it might be easy.

    But it is quickly changing from theory to reality and she can feel her stomach churn.

    Mazikeen tries to smile at the joke, and she does but it is a mere echo of what she would have managed normally. And there’s no rolling of her orange eyes to accompany it. She’d hope to delay the telling of this news for a while, to be halfway through the mountains with Sabal at her side. As if not facing her directly would make it easier to get the words out. But Sabal continues, growing more serious, and the words ache as Mazikeen hears them - that icy grip tightening until she fears she’s going to lose this one again so soon after she just grew it.

    This stupid, weak heart of hers that cares so much for the friend standing before her - loves her enough that she's kicking her out of her home that they've shared.

    They’re going to do this now and tears begin to swim in Mazikeen’s eyes as she looks at her best friend and champion. “Sabal I’m so sorry, he…” But she cuts herself off - remembering that Gale, the Curse, said he’d be watching. She doesn’t want to press her luck, though she doubts he’ll be surprised to overhear any sharp remarks aimed in his direction.

    She inhales sharply and somehow finds the strength to say the next words while looking Sabal in the eye. “You can’t come back. You’re not welcome in Hyaline anymore.” She parrots the words he told her, words that are clearly not her own, and her fiery markings bloom into life across her skin - flickering as rage clashes with her sadness. 


    @[Sabal]

    [Image: giphy2.gif]
    #4

    can’t stop staring at those ocean eyes. 


    It doesn’t take Sabal long to realize something isn’t right.

    Like obviously Maze wasn’t acting like herself, she’d just been attacked by her psycho boyfriend who’s not really her boyfriend who ripped out both her heart AND her eyes. She wasn’t going to fault her friend for acting a little bit off after something that traumatic. But something else was up. Something felt wrong wrong.

    Her squid senses would not shut the hell up.

    She shifted her wings uncomfortably against her sides. It was bad enough that she was already so far outside her comfort zone anyway – having decided to make part of the journey on foot – she couldn’t help but feel extra exposed. Sabal didn’t like feeling this vulnerable. Normally it wouldn’t bother her when around her best friend, but she just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing a big puzzle piece here. And she hated it. 

    “That’s not fucking funny, Mazikeen. Especially not now. Her voice is sharp, sharper than perhaps it’s ever been around Maze. Anger flashes in the kelpie’s eyes as she struggles to comprehend what the actual fuck is going on in her friend’s head. 

    Because it has to be a joke. There is literally no other logical explanation that registers in the kelpie’s mind. Was this some sort of punishment for not being there when Gale had come for Mazikeen?  She had done her best to dutifully protect Hyaline since the moment she’d made herself at home in the lake.  She’d spilled blood for Hyaline, and would gladly do so again. This was the only home she’d ever known – the only place she’d ever felt she belonged. And now, she was being shown the door. By Mazikeen no less.

    No. She refused to accept this. Something was definitely wrong because none of this made an iota of sense. She stubbornly stamped a front hoof and leveled her gaze on her friend. She was on her way to check on Mazikeen’s children – to make sure they were safe…at the expense of her own child's safety.  She’d found Mazikeen after the attack – had held her friend as she was healed.  She could still smell Mazikeen’s blood in her dreams – still feel the heat of it dripping down her skin in those nightmares that had come every night since. There was no logic behind this. There just...wasn't. The confusion was clear in her eyes. “Seriously, Maze, what the hell? What’s going on?” she asked– no – she demanded.  Her squid senses were absolutely screaming at this point.

    She was going to have an answer before she took a single step further.

    s a b a l .
    manip by squirt





    @[Mazikeen]
    #5
    mazikeen
    Mazikeen deserves the sharpness to Sabal’s voice when her squid friend tells her this joke isn’t funny and she finally has to look away, turning her head slightly and closing her eyes. As if that’ll help settle the twist in her stomach, as if this will somehow be easier. She wishes this was some cruel joke. This would be the part where she laughs and nips her friend and then they continue on their way, Sabal telling her what an idiot she is. “You have to go.” She says again, this time without much conviction.

    But when Sabal demands to know what is going on, her eyes open and while there’s anger in her tone when she snaps back, it’s desperation that’s shining in her eyes with the hot, bitter tears. Any worry about whether she’ll annoy the Curse by being honest disappears. He’d told her to get rid of Sabal, he didn’t tell her she had to pretend it was her idea. “He found her, Sabal. He found Wishbone while I was… while I was lying around recovering and he fucking hurt her and it’s my fault. He knew exactly where to go!” It could be a lie, Mazikeen doesn’t have any proof, but she believes him. Heaven help her, she believes him.

    Which is why she tells Sabal the basics of the deal she had struck, aware of how stupid it sounds but needing to believe that if she does this one thing - everything will be as fine as it possibly can. “You’re the price he’s making me pay so he won’t hurt anyone else I care about.” Even though this right here is hurting them but better to do this than to see Sabal torn apart like she had been, better this than Chasm being caught in uncaring jaws.

    She doesn’t want to have to repeat what she was told to do if Sabal won’t leave, even though she would never do it. She couldn’t.

    The mere thought of it causes disgust to churn within her again and she begins to pace, her anxious energy needing some sort of outlet.

    “I should have gone with him to Islandres when he asked me to, I should have given you Hyaline a year ago and then none of this would be happening.” She inhales a deep, shuddering breath and pauses, looking up to the sky, tracing the tops of the mountains she knows so well. The mountains that line their home. “And now I’m… Sabal, fuck, I’m just trying...” But she can’t get an explanation out.

    Her next words are soft, spoken with her eyes still up and as the tears begin to fall. “If you're not here, he can't use you against me.” It's not that simple, it never is, but it is one less pressure point of a million that Mazikeen seems to have.

    She doesn’t know if what she’s doing makes any sense, she just can’t see any other options. Not right now, not with the memory of what it felt like to wake up shredded on the shore so fresh in her mind, not with the sick knowledge of Gale finding exactly where she left the twins after all her planning. Mazikeen thinks she just needs a little more time to stop being so weak, to get over that, and then she’ll be able to come up with a new plan. And then everything will be fine.


    @[Sabal]

    [Image: anigif_sub-buzz-12382-1604957663-12.gif]
    #6

    can’t stop staring at those ocean eyes. 



    Sabal’s insides lurched when it became so glaringly obvious who was responsible. The sinking feeling in her stomach didn’t send the kelpie into a fit of sadness though. No. Sabal descended right into a pit of poorly controlled rage. Not at Mazikeen directly. At Gale. At the whole fucked up situation. The fire flickered behind her ocean eyes as the puzzle pieces finally came together and she fucking hated the image staring back at her.

    She tore her gaze from her friend and frantically searched the surroundings for a smudge of iridescent blue. “Where is that bastard?!” she seethed, through clenched kelpie teeth. She wanted blood – she wanted the kelpie justice that has now been denied from her twice.  But when she saw no hint of the blue stallion her wild gaze returned to her friend, softening only slightly at the mention of what had transpired in Tephra.

    What she hated more is that even without Gale she knew that Mazikeen had the ability to force her out. Because while Sabal had all of the abilities of a Kelpie, she inherited none of the magic of her mother’s lineage aside from the looks. She had no magic to counter the fire that burned in Mazikeen’s veins. Nor did she have anything aside from teeth and tail and sheer stubbornness to take on whatever Gale had become.  That familiar feeling of being useless – of being unworthy – crawled through her veins like ice. It was enough to calm the firestorm of rage that threatened to consume her.  She inhaled sharply, forcing her breath to return to a somewhat normal rhythm. 

    “You think that forcing me out is going to solve things. That it won’t hurt me? Or you? Or my son who’s still asleep in the fucking lake? Am I correct in assuming that I’m not permitted to go back at tell him what’s going on?” It was a low blow, but she didn’t care.  Physical pain wasn’t the only thing that left terrible, lifelong scars. Sabal struggled to contain her composure knowing that this was an impossible situation but hating that this is what it had come to.

    She slammed her eyes shut and sucked in a breath between her teeth – trying to calm herself enough not to make the situation even fucking worse than it already was.  They were trapped. Again, the Curse had outwitted them. And Sabal knew that if she made one wrong move that blood would again flow in Hyaline – and she needed to be careful to protect both Mazikeen and her son. Chasm, she knew, was now a pawn in this horrific game that the Curse was playing. 

    “I hate this, Maze. I don’t for one second think that he’ll stop hurting people – hurting you. He’s isolating you from the people who care about you, don’t you see that! He will never stop – the torture, the manipulation, the hurt. He won’t stop. Why would he?”  She knows Mazikeen feels backed into a corner, feels like this is her only option – but Sabal needs her to understand this before she is forced away. Mazikeen is beautifully stubborn and fierce and full of fire and Sabal loves that about her, but she needs her to take this moment to reflect and see reason before she is lost to her own flames. 

    The implications of having to leave haven’t even really hit her yet. Nothing seems real. The only thing real is the sound of her heart pounding in her ears and the frustration and pain threatening to tear her apart from the inside.

    s a b a l .
    manip by squirt





    @[Mazikeen]
    #7
    mazikeen
    Mazikeen doesn’t answer the question about where Gale is. Believing he is watching somewhere, enjoying every outburst - delighting in every tear. There’s no joy to be had in her imagining Sabal tearing him apart. Not only does she know he’ll be able to heal, that he is unstoppable because of it, but she fears she wouldn’t be able to watch someone else hurt Gale’s body without intervening on his behalf.

    This is not a comfortable realization to have, but so little of the thoughts that have gone through her mind since the twins were born have been remotely nice.

    Her ears flatten as Sabal shoots words back at her, when she mentions her son and Mazikeen is cowardly enough that she still won’t look at her friend. Her silence is enough of an answer - no, Sabal isn’t allowed to go back to the lake. There is only one direction she will allow her friend to walk in, and it will be the one that separates them.

    She’s trying to think of a way to get Chasm out of the lake and to wherever Sabal ends up when her friend keeps talking and Mazikeen’s orange eyes finally find her again. She’s still blazing with her fiery markings and they burn a little brighter as Sabal tells her she doesn’t think this is where the pain is going to stop. Angry words bubble out of Mazikeen, shooting back in a hissing voice “Do you really think I don’t fucking understand what he’s capable of? How can you look at my face right now and say that to me, Sabal? That’s why I want him to isolate me and why I’ll help him to do it.” Mazikeen wants them all gone - wants Ryatah to take her entire family and leave, wants Selaphiel to forget that he had ever wanted to make Hyaline his home. The weight of the list of all those she wants to protect is dragging her down and if the Curse won’t sever those ties for her, she’ll do it herself.

    Mazikeen now thinks it would’ve been better if she hadn’t grown her heart back. If she had been left without it, would this be any easier? She’s tried to steel herself against emotions in the past but never have the stakes been so high. So she inhales deeply and tries to calm the rage inside of her, tries to hold onto the belief that this is for the best. Sabal will go somewhere else - maybe even to Tephra.

    She doesn’t dare speak the small hope that with Wishbone and Sabal both together, that fierce pair will have better luck finding a solution to this than Mazikeen could. She barely even lets herself think it - snuffing out that thought almost as soon as it appears. It is not fair for her to rely on anyone else to solve her problems.

    The tears are gone now, each breath an attempt to bury her emotions deeper and deeper until it’s just fierce determination blazing in her eyes when she speaks and pretends each word doesn't hurt. “Please, Sabal. Please go and take my love for you with you. I’ll figure out how to get your son to you.” Maybe she could send Selaphiel on that errand, escorting Chasm to his mother. Maybe Mazikeen could then find the heart to close the border to the sweet angel and keep him far away from her and the home where she had bent the rules so he could stay. And maybe if she sends enough pieces of her heart away, she'll finally feel like she's done enough.


    @[Sabal]

    [Image: giphy-1.gif]
    kingdom, family, same thing
    #8

    can’t stop staring at those ocean eyes. 


    Mazikeen’s silence speaks volumes, and Sabal knows her assumptions had been correct. That she’s not only an exile but her son is a de-facto prisoner. But despite everything she still trusts Mazikeen to keep him safe. She doesn’t know if she’s a fool for thinking so, but she knows in her heart that Maze would do everything in her power to protect her son just as Sabal intended to do everything in hers to protect Mazikeen’s twins. She just wished there was more that she could offer…more that she could do for Mazikeen’s twins than be someone to stand over them with really sharp teeth.

    Mazikeen’s anger isn’t unexpected, given what Sabal’s thrown at her. The kelpie says nothing at first, biting her own tongue to contain her own rage that swirls within her.  Because now the sadness has begun to fight the tidal wave of anger that has threatened to pull her under. “Someone has to say it to your face, Maze,” she says, as calmly as she can manage. “I found you that night.  Every night I remember the smell of blood in the water – I remember the heat of your blood running down my scales. Every night I hardly sleep wondering if this time when I wake up I’ll find your body beyond the point of healing – wondering if he will have finally succeeded where last time he failed.”  She shakes her head, trying to clear away the thoughts that haunt her.  “Damnit Maze, I might not be the father of your children but you are my family. I love you! It kills me leaving you here alone.  Because I know that just because I’m gone doesn’t mean for a second that he’s going to stop manipulating you, or he’s going to stop torturing you to get what he wants.” It is only now that the tears finally begin to well in her eyes, that the undertow of sadness begins to pull her beneath the surface of the rage.

    “I intend to keep my word though, Mazikeen. If you refuse to let me back as long as he’s here, I’m still planning on doing everything I can to keep both you, your children, and Hyaline safe even if I can’t physically be here.  So you’ll know where to find me.”  Maze is smart enough to read between the lines. Because if Gale had known to go to Tephra then there’s a good chance that her children were still in danger – that Wishbone was still in danger.  Until she was welcomed back here, that’s where she’d be. She’s afraid to speak the words aloud - afraid that he’s listening. “I know you think you’re doing this to keep me safe – as fucked up as it is – but know your friends will never, ever give up on you.” The tears finally spill over, leaving trails down her scaled cheeks.

    “I will fight every goddamn day until he’s gone and I’m home and everyone is safe again.” There’s a fierceness in a her voice. A promise. She’s not running with her tail tucked between her legs, that’s for damn sure.

    “You don’t have to fight these battles alone, Mazikeen. Remember that, please. That’s what he wants.”  Wasn’t that why the shifters had come to Hyaline in the first place? They had formed a pack here, because any one shifter alone was vulnerable. But together? Together the pack was strong.  Sabal was sure that together, the pack could defeat the Curse.  Sabal didn’t want to place blame on her friend after all she’d been through – physically and emotionally – but she couldn’t help the deep sense of betrayal that had ripped open anyway like an angry, invisible wound. Why couldn’t she understand what was happening? That if she continued trying to do this alone, she’d never be free of this Curse. That he’d never stop hurting her and everyone that cared for her.

    She finally steps closer to her friend, pressing her face against Maze’s shoulder. “Don’t you dare give up, Maze.” A demand she makes of her friend that she has no right to ask, but it escapes her in broken whisper anyway.

    ”Take care of him for me,” she murmurs against her friend’s burning skin before pulling away abruptly and turning toward the border.


    s a b a l .
    manip by squirt





    @[Mazikeen]
    #9
    mazikeen
    As she stands there, listening to Sabal recounting that night, Mazikeen’s legs tremble slightly. She knows she would tear the world apart if she had found her friend in a similar state but she cannot muster that same sense of caring when it comes to herself. Not when it feels more important to shelter others. So while Sabal isn’t saying anything she hasn’t already thought, she doesn’t reply with her thoughts. She doesn’t tell Sabal how glad she will be that her friend won’t find her next time she is bleeding or how much easier it will be knowing the kelpie won’t be around when Mazikeen is pregnant again this winter.

    It feels so simple to her - the decisions she’s made to protect them - and yet the words to try to explain them won’t come. She listens to Sabal’s impassioned words but flinches away from the hope that tries to rise up in response to the encouragement she receives. It’s a dangerous thing to fight this battle with someone else. That’s how Wishbone was found, that’s why Sabal is being kicked out. Everyone who tries to help her is a pressure point to be used to cause her to crumble.

    Her anger begins to slip away and the fiery markings on her skin fade as a result. Still Mazikeen stands there and doesn’t say anything at all when Sabal closes the gap between them, moving only to lean her head against the neck of her friend - breathing deep the water-fresh scent - and flinches slightly when she is told not to give up. She thinks she’s just learning to fight another way but maybe Sabal has seen through Mazikeen’s bullshit before she’s even aware that something about her actions stinks.

    Still she doesn’t speak because she doesn’t trust her tongue to behave. Doesn’t trust it to not speak of secret plans and that withering hope inside of her that this will all turn out fine in the end. Doesn't want to tell Sabal how much she needs this friendship or how scared she truly is, even though she believes this is the right choice. If she speaks now, she thinks she might just tell Sabal that they’ll both go to Tephra - they’ll abandon Hyaline and then come back with force. That they’ll truly fight this together.

    So instead she brushes her muzzle against the tear-soaked cheek of her friend, sister, and former champion and then watches as Sabal leaves Hyaline.


    @[Sabal]

    [Image: e4149370ae0897caf9a2538c54bdaf88147b4930.gif]
    this one is more about the shirt




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