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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [open]  blossoming alone over you
    #1
    LITOTES

    Dawn is breaking in multitudes of wondrous autumn colors as Litotes elegantly steps from the bank of the river. He had longed for the cold bite of a morning bath, and rivulets of water sparkle down his side and drip from the tangles of his mane and tail. He closes his eyes and breathes in the clarifying early-morning air, welcoming the season’s changing breeze as it forces shivers over his hide.

    The pale man often does this: wanders from the Cove for a day, listening to the ever-changing gossip of Beqanna. Old habits die hard, and Litotes found he is much more miserable when he doesn’t appease the tug of politics insistent in his chest. Never does he wander too close to the volatile nature of the kingdom’s whims, living beneath the rule of a Curse is enough chaos for his family.

    But he remembers: the busy life of a king, the weight of responsibility, how his heart pounded in the midst of battle and heartbreak.

    For years, Lie has lived at peace. No terrible longing, no agonizing over his mistakes. He keeps his wife warm at night and dotes on their children. Even now, Lilt grows round with their fourth babe. For all he was in the past, all he thought he wouldn’t be, Litotes has shaped into a quiet, retired, attentive husband and father. How terribly restless his heart is, though, quivering when a particularly frightening bit of kingdom gossip passes through his ears.

    And now he waits, ignoring the desire to return to Lilt and curl into her side (how he would smile, how his heart would still), water dripping delicately onto the muddied riverbank. Quiet, regal Litotes, wondering if he might truly return to the life that once agonized him so.

    and let the cool air in, feel the night slip in
    as it softly glides across your back
    and i hope you leave right before the sun comes up
    so i can watch it alone
    Reply
    #2
    The tug that had drawn Altissima out of Loess in the middle of the night had not been as strong as the one that encourages her to wander in the summer and spend the colder months with both the hot springs and Tarian to keep her warm. She’s been sleeping so much that a fit of restlessness had encouraged her to stretch her wings and enter the chilled world she hates so much.

    It reminds her too much of how she had almost died during the darkness, how she had been unable to keep herself warm curled as tightly against herself as she could manage, hiding in the forest and waiting for either the sun or death.

    But she is eager to move today so she pushes herself until she is warm with exercise, the early morning light twinkling around her as she drinks it in - feeling at peace even in the cold air with the sun as her companion.

    When she tires, she angles herself to land near the river and almost drops right out of the sky when she catches sight of a familiar figure standing on the riverbank.

    Despite the fact that she is grown and even pregnant with the beginning of her own family, Altissima feels exactly how she did when she had seen him last when she was a yearling. Small, uncertain, wary, and practically choking on the hope of being recognized and welcome. The desire to run to avoid any lack of recognition or interest floods through her but she’s been trying so hard to fight that instinct with Tarian, it’s begun to seep into other places in her life.

    So she lands nearby, her wings disappearing into her blue-tinted sides once her hooves touch on the ground, and she approaches. Her heart is racing and, though she’s not sure why, she does not use the formality she had greeted him with last time. “Dad?”


    image by yoricade


    @litotes <33
    [Image: willowsticker_by_space1993_ddeo27s_small.png]
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    #3
    LITOTES

    Ah, that age-old guilt. One of Litotes’ most defining characteristics, in fact. How he let that guilt rule his life for year upon year. How he suffered and bled for it. How he never righted those wrongs when tangled up in guilt’s web. It was a pointless emotion, really, when he let it make him so selfish. His blood endlessly drained by an emotion’s spider, he focused solely on self-preservation.

    And only thought of the aftermath in the years to come.

    He does feel it now—guilt. It’s not constant nor pressing. It does not swallow him whole like it once did. But when he is beaming down at his children’s happy faces, sometimes his gut twists at the reminder of those he forgot. Not the random nights ending in children he never knew, but the mothers he doesn’t forget. The children from Kensa, from Valdis, from Dawn—he knows he failed them. He knows there’s no changing what he did. He’s mostly found peace with his actions.

    Altissima’s face shatters that peace almost immediately.

    Lie’s eyes grow wide, glimmering with surprise and—something else, perhaps sorrow, perhaps love. He feels every wave of that agony he felt in previous years all at once. She looks so strong and grown, he knows he’ll have years to mourn when he is alone again.

    “Oh, you are so grown,” he says, standing still. Uncertainty crosses face and he takes a single stuttering step forward. “Altissima,” he breathes out, her name a prayer that she won’t immediately spurn him. Every word he thinks to say dies on his tongue before they can make it past his lips. Silence stretches for a few moments before he finally settles:

    “You . . . I missed all of those years. Do you—” he pauses, unsure. “Do you want to talk to me?”

    and let the cool air in, feel the night slip in
    as it softly glides across your back
    and i hope you leave right before the sun comes up
    so i can watch it alone
    Reply
    #4
    It takes everything in her not to step away when he moves forward, to make herself look at his face and see her own conflicting emotions in his eyes. Hers are a pale blue with her wariness, an icy wall protecting her thundering heart when he says her name. She can feel it ache at his uncertainty because she knows it so well and there’s a shine in her eyes she would deny with her last breath at his question.

    Altissima says “Yes” and leaves it at that because she doesn’t want to admit the full truth - more than anything.

    And she wants to send the question back to him but she cannot risk anything other than an affirmative answer. So she’ll pretend the answer is yes until they part and then she’ll wonder if she inflicted her presence on him when he did not want it.

    There’s another pause and she makes a tiny shuffling step forward, bringing them to a more comfortable distance - and because she wants to show him that she means that yes. Her mind scrambles for something to say. Altissima thinks there should probably be a list - but she had been very effective at running from even her thoughts. She never thought she'd be here again, even if some of those thoughts she had been run from held hope for such a meeting.

    “You’re going to be a grandfather.” She offers, unsure of what to say about the past - so maybe the future is a safer place for them to find their footing together. “Well, you already are but…” Altissima trails off from her thoughts of Senna, wondering if this is old news to him. If he has other children, other families. But she offers a small, tentative smile and she thinks of Tarian and his strength, how he made her want to try. “There will be another this spring.”


    image by yoricade
    [Image: willowsticker_by_space1993_ddeo27s_small.png]
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    #5
    LITOTES

    Lie used to think that happiness just didn’t suit him. He truly denounced all attempts at a peaceful life and suffered at the hands of brutal apathy for years and years. He cared so much he told himself that he did not care at all, rather than endure the pain of feeling so wonderfully, powerfully, and deeply.

    For in all the beauty, he could not face the raw, bloodied beating of his heart and everything that it yearned for.

    And now, it yearns so desperately—so loudly—that he almost feels like the shell of a man he once was. Staring into Altissima’s eyes, he begins to think he’s been lying to himself about feeling peace all this time and forgetting to prepare for the next thing to shatter him will finally be his undoing.

    A simple yes changes the route of his thoughts, changes him.

    Renews and broadens that peace and hope he's spent all this time carefully discovering.

    An unyielding smile tears his mouth wide open, crinkling his gemstone eyes at the corners. He didn’t know he was capable of carrying such relief as it washed him with wave after cleansing wave. She did want to talk to him, even if it was a simple yes; and what if he could begin to repair all that he tore down in the years that he missed?

    Litotes sucks in a reverent breath but doesn’t lose the smile on his face as Altissima finally speaks again. He can’t help himself when he steps forward and means to pull her into a quick, tight embrace.

    “That’s incredible. I . . .” Lie trails off, gaze flicking to the scenery swaying in the breeze around them. He almost says that he would love to meet them, but does not know how deeply the tear between them runs. If he would be welcome, or if it would just be simpler for them to exchange words and leave it at that.

    “Are you happy?” He leaves it at that. Knowing she is happy would be enough, for now; and if she is not, then he’ll offer to hunt the entirety of their world for those that made her unhappy.

    and let the cool air in, feel the night slip in
    as it softly glides across your back
    and i hope you leave right before the sun comes up
    so i can watch it alone
    Reply
    #6
    She finds it easy to smile when he does, though hers is not as vivid - it’s cautious and hopeful and she still cannot get her heart to stop racing the entire time they stand there facing each other. It is beyond anything she would have expected to see Litotes grin at her like that again, and she tries to caution herself - tries to keep those walls in place because what if this is it? What if they have one good conversation and she can never find him again?

    But it is hard to feel cautious when her dad is grinning at her so brightly. A brief flash of surprise passes across her expression when he moves forward and Altissima is tense during the quick hug. Which she is immediately sorry for as soon as it’s over - and promises herself to try harder next time so it isn’t like hugging a statue.

    The cautious pale blue of her eyes deepens to a richer violet as her smile softens with the rest of her at his question. Maybe they’re both trying to find their footing in this and it’s not just her. Maybe it isn’t so hard to believe in a future where they see each other more often.

    She doesn’t know if this is getting ahead of herself but now that she’s let the hope loose, it grows wildly and roots itself in her heart.

    As for whether she is happy, that is an easy question to answer. The smile that forms when she thinks of Tarian, of the life they're making together, comes just as quickly as it always does. “I wasn’t for a long time. I thought I was but… but now I really am.” The difference between her happiness now and what she had thought was happiness all those years she spent avoiding everyone was staggering.

    But before she can tell him where he can find her, and her unborn child, if he wishes to visit - a small frown appears again, though this time the caution is mixed with concern. “Are you?” Altissima doesn't know whether to hope that he was or wasn't - she thinks either answer might hurt just as much.


    image by yoricade


    @litotes
    [Image: willowsticker_by_space1993_ddeo27s_small.png]
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