She has been terribly restless lately. The curling mists of the redwood forest she has called home for so many years brings more of a hollow ache than a sense of contentment these days. Their children are there (the four that remain), and it is what brings her back at the end of each day. But the trees that had once been so full of promise are now teaming with ghosts.
It might have been different, if Nashua were there to chase away the ghosts. But duty calls him from her side more often than not, and every time he goes, it feels as though a part of her goes with him.
Sometimes she wonders if perhaps it would have been different, had she only admitted how much he meant to her sooner. It’s a foolish dream, of course. Nashua would never have abandoned his duty for her, but she has always been a little bit foolish. So she drifts, becoming a little more unmoored with each day that passes. She thinks that Bolder’s departure to Hyaline had been the thing that loosened the knots, but she knows that is not what has set her adrift.
Their children are old enough now that they do not truly need her anymore. As she stares out at the crashing surf, something aches inside her chest. It has been days since she had last seen him. Nashua. The only other thing that anchors her to this place. She wishes she could be bitter that his duty to the kingdom takes him farther and farther away from her when she only wants to hold him closer. But the bitterness won’t come.
Instead there is only that yawning ache. The desire for something she can’t truly have. For something she would never ask of him.
She knows he is there before her dark gaze turns to find him. His green eyes are so familiar, and the moment they meet hers, the knot inside her chest loosens and swells. As she stares at him, she can almost pretend that everything is as it should be. That he wouldn’t leave her again in only a matter of hours (or perhaps even less). That their lives together are not lived in only these stolen snippets of time they are allowed.
But his question brings reality crashing back down around her.
She doesn’t answer right away. Instead she erases the distance between them and presses herself against him. Burying her face into the crook of his wing, she inhales his familiar scent. It’s a scant loop in the tether, but perhaps it would keep her from drifting farther for at least another day. Finally, with her pale head still pressed against him, she murmurs, “Yes.” She pauses, wishing for a moment they could stay like this forever. “I asked my mother to keep an eye on him too.”
- noel
@Nashua