He is suspicious of her declaration, for it comes too quickly without much conviction behind its words. Of course, he could be wholly incorrect in his assumption, but there is something about her predatory smile that reinforces this idea. Where there once was a sense of comfort in her voice, now a shudder of uncertainty lies, stroking its fingers along his spine.
Then she continues speaking, adding to the sudden unease that has fallen on their conversation.
His expression twists with nervousness, with uncertainty of how he should respond. Does he want to feel this way forever? Well, no.. who would? But what he believes she is asking him to trade for relief from his torment is, quite frankly, preposterous.
Though he does not know how to express or even understand it, profound grief arises from love that is far deeper than the ocean is wide, love that is more expansive than the sky stretching over their heads. He misses his family because he loves them and he cannot imagine trading his devotion, his respect, his adoration to simply be rid of the pain he feels over the loss of their presence in his life.
It may be difficult to fathom while the sting of his wound is so fresh and raw, but the smarting will subside with the passage of time. Undoubtedly, the scar will remain forever and occasionally send a new wave of sorrow to scald his soul, but the pleasant memories of his loved ones will eventually overpower the heartache that currently overwhelms him.
In unison with his silent rejection of her proposal, his feet shuffle restlessly, plainly increasing the space between them. His head tosses in physical representation of his agitation as he speaks, far more forcefully than he has thus far.
“Take away the pain? How? By getting rid of love? I don’t think so.”
“Why does it matter so much to you?”
@
margot