09-25-2015, 06:56 PM
I'm looking for the sky to save me,
looking for a sign of life
looking for a sign of life
Why won’t he just leave her alone? She was ready to go, ready to die. Still is, mind - even as she stands there, the water calls out to her, offering her peace.
He says she won’t find rest there, but she doesn’t believe it. Down there in the depths she will be nothing. Will feel nothing, remember nothing. What else would that be, but rest? “I don’t want recompense.” It’s silly to want compensation at this point. What she wants is to not remember her mother’s death, to not remember Esther’s death, to not remember Mikhael and Hael and Cal and Cai and all her siblings. She just wants the void.
But his next words anger her - an emotion that she hasn’t felt in a long time. Life is about pain?!
She exhales, trying to steel herself. Her experiences are not simply sad occurrences that make life more interesting. “Watching people die does not make life worth living.” There’s a venom in her voice that she’s startled to hear. Who is he to discount what she’s been through? He does not know her, does not know her life. “Being raped does not make life worth living.” She’s half tempted to walk out of the water to give him a good kick, but she knows, even before he says it, that it’s just what he wants.
He wants to save her, be the white knight that brings her back from the edge. But she doesn’t want to be saved. “Why? There’s nothing left for me.” Besides Hael of course, but Hael will be far better without Carys dragging down her life.
carys