and death shall have no
DOMINION
Living at the end of the world. She used to do that every day. Back before the bitter sea swallowed the last of her people, every moment was the end of the world. Every breath was precious, because it could always be the last. Hunger, drought, disease, war, there were so many ways to die, and she’d seen them all. Somehow, four years with Ben had made her forget. “I might stay this time,” she replied, her voice cracking. She’d loved every second of those four years, every morning waking up next to her lover, every touch of his skin on hers, every taste of him, every grin that lit him up from the inside. She’d loved every moment watching their son grow from a tiny, wobbly-legged marvel into a strong, clever lad with a quick tongue and a steady heart. Every touch of her lips against his baby-soft coat, every impatient snort as she’d licked him clean, every happy little cuddle when he’d decided he’d put up enough of a fight and snuggled up against her. Every last one of their daughter’s frolicking dances, her voice ringing out and echoing off the mountainsides as she whirled with fierce joy in just being alive.
She couldn’t do shiny and new again. Not when it only led to goodbye.
“So I guess I wouldn’t be a visitor.”
The forced humor faded from his eyes as he searched hers, seeing more than she wanted to show him. More than she wanted to show anyone. His casual offer of decapitation drained the steel from her limbs and she wobbled, her vision blurring and flashing to her son as she’d seen him last, his head crushed by fallen rocks. “No,” she whispered. “That won’t be necessary. Can’t kill the earth. And it wouldn’t change what happened.” Too soon to speak of the dead. Had to give them time to find their way to the stars, or they might get stuck here forever. She could hear her father’s voice, liquid silver and lilting as he told her people’s stories. But the stories were lies, weren’t they? Just words, just shining silver words that meant nothing when there was no father-star in the sky shining down and watching her. "There was a quake. Rock slide. Killed...killed some people I loved." Her face twisted as two words echoed in her head again.
"Hurts, Momma."
"My mate, my boy, they were...they were quick. Dead instantly. I had to--" She shook her head, choking on the words, swallowing hard before she tried again. "God, she was so little, Nish. Such a tiny little girl, and she was begging me to make it stop hurting. There was nothing else I could do. Couldn't save her, couldn't even move the giant fucking rock off my baby's legs and--"
She pulled in another deep breath, stretching cracked ribs until they screamed inside her, and the pain cleared away the memories, chasing them out of her head. “I’m alive.” Her voice shook. “That’s all I’ve got, Nish. I’m still standing. They're all dead, and I'm still standing.” Even though the rain had washed their scents from her skin for the last time. Even though memories of the day and of their too-short lives made every beat of her heart hurt for what she had lost, she was alive. And for the moment, it was all she could do just to stay that way. "For all the damn good that's worth."
She couldn’t do shiny and new again. Not when it only led to goodbye.
“So I guess I wouldn’t be a visitor.”
The forced humor faded from his eyes as he searched hers, seeing more than she wanted to show him. More than she wanted to show anyone. His casual offer of decapitation drained the steel from her limbs and she wobbled, her vision blurring and flashing to her son as she’d seen him last, his head crushed by fallen rocks. “No,” she whispered. “That won’t be necessary. Can’t kill the earth. And it wouldn’t change what happened.” Too soon to speak of the dead. Had to give them time to find their way to the stars, or they might get stuck here forever. She could hear her father’s voice, liquid silver and lilting as he told her people’s stories. But the stories were lies, weren’t they? Just words, just shining silver words that meant nothing when there was no father-star in the sky shining down and watching her. "There was a quake. Rock slide. Killed...killed some people I loved." Her face twisted as two words echoed in her head again.
"Hurts, Momma."
"My mate, my boy, they were...they were quick. Dead instantly. I had to--" She shook her head, choking on the words, swallowing hard before she tried again. "God, she was so little, Nish. Such a tiny little girl, and she was begging me to make it stop hurting. There was nothing else I could do. Couldn't save her, couldn't even move the giant fucking rock off my baby's legs and--"
She pulled in another deep breath, stretching cracked ribs until they screamed inside her, and the pain cleared away the memories, chasing them out of her head. “I’m alive.” Her voice shook. “That’s all I’ve got, Nish. I’m still standing. They're all dead, and I'm still standing.” Even though the rain had washed their scents from her skin for the last time. Even though memories of the day and of their too-short lives made every beat of her heart hurt for what she had lost, she was alive. And for the moment, it was all she could do just to stay that way. "For all the damn good that's worth."
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;