Oh. O-...okay, Khari.
Fuck. He didn't want it this way, didn't want it to end. Her thoughts weren't helping, and he stopped and closed his eyes. Her lips tingling from his, from their kissing. He wanted more. Maybe she really did too. He glanced sideways at her, her head low and shoulders hunched. She thought she did something wrong, that she messed this up. It hurt like hell that she'd ever blame herself for his fuck up, and he turned to face her.
”Oh, Kali,” he sighed softly, pulling her into his chest for a hug and wrapping his wings around her. His lips played at her hair again like he loved to do. This isn't you, baby, I messed up. He pulled back a little, using the wrist of his wing to gently lift her face to him and look in her eyes. You. Are perfect. Completely and absolutely perfect. I fucked up. If today went wrong, it’s my fault. Because some of it really didn’t feel wrong at all. Even the parts that should. They felt right, even, and he wanted to go back and pretend he never messed it up for them. Pretend he’d ignored Father’s voice breaking into their moment together.
...maybe we can go on a regular adventure tomorrow. Her thoughts were still where his were though, still reveling in how they’d felt together, pressed so close. Panting together, hearts racing. He wanted that again, wanted more. He shouldn’t have done it maybe, but he definitely still wanted more. But she didn’t really understand it, what they were doing. That it wasn’t normal or right for everyone. That Father would hate him if they continued. If...if you want, I mean.
He was still holding her chin up and his gaze slid down to her lips. I want you, he admitted softly, lowering to kiss her again, slow and tender. Maybe it was one last time, that was all. Damn, but she felt so goddamned good. He didn’t think he could ever stop wanting more now. He groaned. Sorry... I can't help it. You're so incredible. Should he explain it? Would she choose him? Probably not. Maybe she should have that choice though? He wished he knew. It was going to hurt so bad to hear her reject him.
I'm sorry I'm so back and forth right now, he apologized, stroking her cheek with downy feathers and staring in her eyes. He hoped she could see how badly he wanted her, how much he'd wanted to keep going. Make her shudder under his touch, and moan into his kisses. This is so hard for me. I think it has to be your choice if it's a good or bad secret. You would never be a bad secret to me. But it does have to be secret. Father would hate me. He should say more, should elaborate and explain it all, but how could he and still have any chance that she would still want this? He'd risk Father's hate for her, though. Way out here where it was safe. If she wanted.
I can do more, he promised quietly, his mouth drifting to her throat again with sensual kisses, showing her just a little, to that place in her neck that had made her moan so gloriously only minutes before. I want to do more. Now, or later. Tell me at anytime, and we can go somewhere, where no one will be bothered, no one will interrupt, and I can show you more. As much or as little as you want. If you ever want to. But it had to be her choice. Because he was already saying yes. Definitely yes.