01-13-2018, 05:52 PM
Attempting to maintain some measly smidgen of dignity, I lightly nip at Kagerus, grasping for her neck and mane as I continue my slipshod attempt to reassert myself, to no avail.
The laughter that has taken hold of me refuses to let go, and I tremble from the convulsions. The way she watches me, lovingly, teasingly; as if I have finally surrendered to madness and foolishness unbecoming for someone in my current position. Unbeknownst to her, however, that´s exactly what has sparked my almost hysterical laughter. Her teasing words nearly provokes another fit of uncontrolled laughter, but I struggle to remain unflinching – and instead I press an unkempt nose to her cheek in a fond gesture. My whiskers bend and tickle at the touch, and I smile.
”Don´t you know? I am Beqanna´s biggest flirt.”
I shake bark-brown hair from my eyes, an utterly ridiculous gesture only to demonstrate how ludicrous my statement is and look at her with earnest, childlike intensity. Hyaline is already treating us well, rocks and trees and grasses singing sweetly-softly – and I am already agreeing with Kagerus that it will be the perfect place to start a family. I toss my head at her and roll my eyes as she turns to coo nonsense at my swollen barrel. Aunt Rou, if only she know the truth to those words. I can feel something stirring inside of me, and already have I begun to love the thing that grows there. A tiny morsel of hope and love and all things good in this world. I do not doubt a second that she will love the baby as much as I will. I have no experience of raising a child, or of children at all for that matter. No siblings have I, for the preservation of my sire´s pride and my dam´s sanity perhaps. But my child will not share my own tragic childhood.
I am interrupted in my musings by the sound of hoofbeats, hoofbeats I would recognize anywhere in this world for their owners heart beats in rhythm with mine. Kavi and Insignificance – poetry has never dogged our footsteps, ours is a far more quiet love. Unfit for great tales but our own soft story of hopeless beginnings and syrup-sweet endings.
I generously step aside as he nears, I won´t begrudge the sweet reunion between father and daughter, even though my heart sings for him and my flesh craves his touch. I watch them – and my heart brims with an adoration I never thought myself capable of, and if there is a tear of joy falling down my cheek – I do not notice, too caught up am I in the scene that unfolds before me. And it is not until they after long last break free from their embrace that I take a step forth to claim my place beside them both.
”Kavi” I say, and ”Insignificance” came the response. We have been claimed, each by the other. It is true – we are real, to ourselves and now….
Now we are all real, real again the three of us, to each other.
I smile, a crooked thing that pulls itself in two directions, an expression of such quiet joy that I feel burned on the inside of it. I say nothing – I only step forward, one hoof careful-cautious in front of the other as though the ground might break open and I might go toppling inside, and embrace my lover.