[mature] here we are in the heart of the darkness; Briseis

[Briseis]

little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep,
little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories,
little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece

The moment his lips touch her skin, it is as though her heart releases a breath, a sigh of relief. The pain that was accumulated over the several months since he had left, when he had retreated into his world where she could not follow, slowly began to dissipate; the confusion, and the loneliness that had echoed inside her ribcage ever since then, cautiously following suit. Something about his touch, light and skimming across her skin, manages to fill every hollow spot his absence had left, and not even she understands why she forgives so quickly, or why the open wounds seem to suddenly heal so easy.

She doesn’t question it. She doesn’t want to know if it’s wrong to immediately forgive him; she doesn’t want to wonder if the damage is irreparable, and perhaps she is just caught up in the moment. The strange thing about Ether, however, is he always made her act so completely out of character; he had been able to breach every wall and storm his way into her heart and her mind, and without even trying. He had been different from the beginning, and she was still so desperately clinging to what could be.

Almost involuntarily, she leans into his touch, and she can feel that relentless longing she has been pushing aside in his absence slowly being stoked alive once more. But she carefully buries it deeper, even though she doesn’t move away from him. He has grown suddenly quiet after what she has said, and the heat the rises in her skin is something closer to fear, that she has said or done something wrong.

When he finally speaks, his words are almost as quiet as the silence within his shadows, and she can feel her heart stutter in her chest. ”What do you mean?” He can not possibly be referring to now — this was entirely on accident. He hadn’t been looking for her, and the look on his face when their eyes had met had proven that. She can feel her heart constricting in her chest, but she slowly dares to ask anyway, “If you came back, why didn’t you say anything?” And still, there is no resentment in her voice; just a muted ache, a twinge of confusion, on how he had to have seen her suffering and said nothing.

Her throat begins to burn, and this time when the tears blur her eyes, she cannot stop them. They slide in warm paths down her cheeks, and even though she feels like she is breaking apart on the inside she still can’t pull away from him. With her face still laying against his neck she doubts he will notice, save for the way her body trembles in her attempt to ward the pain and tears away. ”I’m not mad, I just...needed you.” A broken confession, and something she had been afraid to admit to herself, until now.

BRISEIS

underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside,
I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind