@[Gallows] and @[Astri] - sorry this took so long!
Winner: Gallows
Gallows
Post I
+ Good description of Gallow’s size and build, advantages and disadvantages
- Set the weather, landscape, etc. These things will affect how you can see and move, and if you are suddenly fighting in say the Jungle instead one day, that will really matter
o Pay particular attention to the way you position your attacks. Telling me that your wing is unfurled completely right in front of Astri is really helpful, but I would have liked to see that explained in the attack. I had to read all the way through and then double back, because it took a while for me to have a full understand of exactly what was happening
o I’d like a little more (not a lot, but a little more) about what exactly this attack is intended to do. Not necessarily the muscle groups, but more about how that bruise could make it harder for Astri to put all her weight on her front, making buck’s harder. That sort of stuff.
Post II
+ Good damage to her attack
o More details in your attack. I get the attack, but again, what kind of damage are you really causing? What muscles are you bruising? Not necessarily the muscle names, but more about how those muscles can effect Astri’s movement. I don’t think you need a ton more, it’s nice not reading a book for each battle post, but I would spend a little more time on the attack description/possible outcomes.
Astri
Post I
- Gallows doesn’t use her wings, except to spread one out during the attack, so there’s really no wind or anything for Astri to be taken aback by here, and it’s borderline power playing (minimal, and it doesn’t really affect the battle, but it does give Astri knowledge earlier than she should have had it)
- Gallows is heading toward Astri’s right, not left
o We obviously aren’t that realistic here, but there are certain things that we can keep that way, and no horse is going to stand there, legs basically poised to be broken, while a horse barrels straight at them. There were quite a few options for at least a partial dodge, and choosing not to move at all was not the best option Astri had
o I like the idea behind the attack. Biting won’t do much damage, so I’d mention that, but you could leave a bruise on a wing if you snagged the right part of it. However, this doesn’t get a plus because the positioning is wrong – turning her head to the left, Astri would just be biting at air
- Be careful about interpreting too much into what the other person is writing/being very clear with your own language – Gallows is only backing away a bit, and says she stays close by. You say things like quickly and that you can’t see Gallows, but these conclusions aren’t necessarily true. It’d be more accurate to say that you aren’t sure where Gallows is heading, so you back away to try and put some space between the two of you, or something to that affect.
Post II
- Again, watch the positioning. Gallows is on Astri’s right, not left
- Horses teeth are not that sharp – they tear grass, not flesh. Particularly along Astri’s side, which is where I think the attack hit, Gallows wouldn’t really be able to grab anything here. She might scrape Astri’s side, certainly, but it wouldn’t be more than a minor abrasion. Bloody implies more of a serious injury.
o Counter attack is pretty realistic, but a little more detail would be good. It may be the last post, but still detail what’s going on, what a hit to the chest could do to Gallows, etc. Particularly, it would make it a more effective attack if you were specific with the buck, saying it’s also slightly to the side. Astri probably couldn’t kick straight back to hit anything, giving their position. But she could angle herself just a bit, throwing one leg out to the side instead. Something like that, anyway.
Winner: Gallows
Gallows
Post I
+ Good description of Gallow’s size and build, advantages and disadvantages
- Set the weather, landscape, etc. These things will affect how you can see and move, and if you are suddenly fighting in say the Jungle instead one day, that will really matter
o Pay particular attention to the way you position your attacks. Telling me that your wing is unfurled completely right in front of Astri is really helpful, but I would have liked to see that explained in the attack. I had to read all the way through and then double back, because it took a while for me to have a full understand of exactly what was happening
o I’d like a little more (not a lot, but a little more) about what exactly this attack is intended to do. Not necessarily the muscle groups, but more about how that bruise could make it harder for Astri to put all her weight on her front, making buck’s harder. That sort of stuff.
Post II
+ Good damage to her attack
o More details in your attack. I get the attack, but again, what kind of damage are you really causing? What muscles are you bruising? Not necessarily the muscle names, but more about how those muscles can effect Astri’s movement. I don’t think you need a ton more, it’s nice not reading a book for each battle post, but I would spend a little more time on the attack description/possible outcomes.
Astri
Post I
- Gallows doesn’t use her wings, except to spread one out during the attack, so there’s really no wind or anything for Astri to be taken aback by here, and it’s borderline power playing (minimal, and it doesn’t really affect the battle, but it does give Astri knowledge earlier than she should have had it)
- Gallows is heading toward Astri’s right, not left
o We obviously aren’t that realistic here, but there are certain things that we can keep that way, and no horse is going to stand there, legs basically poised to be broken, while a horse barrels straight at them. There were quite a few options for at least a partial dodge, and choosing not to move at all was not the best option Astri had
o I like the idea behind the attack. Biting won’t do much damage, so I’d mention that, but you could leave a bruise on a wing if you snagged the right part of it. However, this doesn’t get a plus because the positioning is wrong – turning her head to the left, Astri would just be biting at air
- Be careful about interpreting too much into what the other person is writing/being very clear with your own language – Gallows is only backing away a bit, and says she stays close by. You say things like quickly and that you can’t see Gallows, but these conclusions aren’t necessarily true. It’d be more accurate to say that you aren’t sure where Gallows is heading, so you back away to try and put some space between the two of you, or something to that affect.
Post II
- Again, watch the positioning. Gallows is on Astri’s right, not left
- Horses teeth are not that sharp – they tear grass, not flesh. Particularly along Astri’s side, which is where I think the attack hit, Gallows wouldn’t really be able to grab anything here. She might scrape Astri’s side, certainly, but it wouldn’t be more than a minor abrasion. Bloody implies more of a serious injury.
o Counter attack is pretty realistic, but a little more detail would be good. It may be the last post, but still detail what’s going on, what a hit to the chest could do to Gallows, etc. Particularly, it would make it a more effective attack if you were specific with the buck, saying it’s also slightly to the side. Astri probably couldn’t kick straight back to hit anything, giving their position. But she could angle herself just a bit, throwing one leg out to the side instead. Something like that, anyway.