11-23-2020, 01:52 AM
It’s impossible to not reach over and touch him again at the feel of his weight against her. Her head lowers as she steps to rest against his chest, not minding the feel of his scar against her skin or the fact that the only heartbeat she can feel is her own. For all of his harshness she has never known another to sacrifice the few things that he cared about the way that he has– the Chamber, Twinge, and Magnus. It stirs something similar to guilt inside of her, afraid that maybe she didn’t deserve the happiness of a family – their family – at the expense of him losing everything else.
Accompanied by the sudden realization that their children likely aren’t going to be allowed to be here, much in the same way she is not supposed to be, she can feel the familiar darkness crawling back across the light she had previously felt in her chest. He says he had to bargain to keep her here, and though she had already known that, hearing it again seems to twist the sharpness in her ribs a little deeper. “I know,” she says quietly, and she fights to keep the apology that she longs to say from slipping out; to apologize for causing an issue when there didn’t need to be one.
As much as they belonged to each other, she would never be able to fully shake the feeling that he would prefer being alone.
Her nose touches the top of the filly’s mane, exhaling a soft breath before sweeping down her small cheek. “I was thinking of naming her Maea,” there is a slight hesitancy to her voice, like she is still expecting him to tell her that he does not care what she names them, or for him to leave. For some reason that she cannot possibly grasp she is reminded of when Noel had been born, of how furious Ashhal had been at the entire situation, even though this was nothing even remotely similar. “And Astin for the boy,” she continues, soft-spoken but almost rushed, before falling into a strange, almost tense silence.
Accompanied by the sudden realization that their children likely aren’t going to be allowed to be here, much in the same way she is not supposed to be, she can feel the familiar darkness crawling back across the light she had previously felt in her chest. He says he had to bargain to keep her here, and though she had already known that, hearing it again seems to twist the sharpness in her ribs a little deeper. “I know,” she says quietly, and she fights to keep the apology that she longs to say from slipping out; to apologize for causing an issue when there didn’t need to be one.
As much as they belonged to each other, she would never be able to fully shake the feeling that he would prefer being alone.
Her nose touches the top of the filly’s mane, exhaling a soft breath before sweeping down her small cheek. “I was thinking of naming her Maea,” there is a slight hesitancy to her voice, like she is still expecting him to tell her that he does not care what she names them, or for him to leave. For some reason that she cannot possibly grasp she is reminded of when Noel had been born, of how furious Ashhal had been at the entire situation, even though this was nothing even remotely similar. “And Astin for the boy,” she continues, soft-spoken but almost rushed, before falling into a strange, almost tense silence.
R y A t A h
and you can aim for my heart, go for blood
but you would still miss me in your bones
but you would still miss me in your bones